Sunday, December 12, 2010

EMS Poem- Author Unknown

Well I guess over a month is enough time to be on hiatus from my blog.  Nothing much has been going on and I didn't have much to write about until this evening.

I was on a EMS forum tonight talking about difficult calls and tough situations one has to face being in the EMS field.  There was a new EMT student who had a coroner come and give a lecture to her class about death and dying.  He apparently showed a rather gruesome slide show and she ran out of the room halfway through the class crying her eyes out.  She posed the question of whether she was cut out for the job and whether it was right of the speaker to show them those pictures at all.  Someone in the forum posted this poem as a response that it is part of out job to deal with nasty shit and that not all we do is nice, pretty, and fun.  Being in this field for as long as I have has given me a perspective that not too many people understand.  Although I did get teary when I read the poem and it moved me.  Moved me enough that i wanted to share it in my blog.

"I Want To Tell You Lies."

Author unknown.

I want to tell that little boy his Mom will be just fine
I want to tell that dad we got his daughter out in time
I want to tell that wife her husband will be home tonight
I don't want to tell it like it is, I want to tell them lies

You didn't put their seat belts on, you feel you killed your kids
I want to say you didn't ... but in a way, you did
You pound your fists into my chest, you're hurting so inside
I want to say you'll be OK, I want to tell you lies

You left chemicals within his reach and now it's in his eyes
I want to say your son will see, not tell you he'll be blind
You ask me if he'll be OK, with pleading in your eyes
I want to say that yes he will, I want to tell you lies

I can see you're crying as your life goes up in smoke
If you'd maintained that smoke alarm, your children may have woke
Don't grab my arm and ask me if your family is alive
Don't make me tell you they're all dead, I want to tell you lies

I want to say she'll be OK, you didn't take her life
I hear you say you love her and you'd never hurt your wife
You thought you didn't drink too much, you thought that you could drive
I don't want to say how wrong you were, I want to tell you lies

You only left her for a moment, it happens all the time
How could she have fell from there? You thought she couldn't climb
I want to say her neck's not broke, that she will be just fine
I don't want to say she's paralyzed, I want to tell you lies

I want to tell this teen his buddies didn't die in vain
Because he thought that it'd be cool to try to beat that train
I don't want to tell him this will haunt him all his life
I want to say that he'll forget, I want to tell him lies

You left the cabinet open and your daughter found the gun
Now you want me to undo the damage that's been done
You tell me she's your only child, you say she's only five
I don't want to say she wont see six, I want to tell you lies

He fell into the pool when you just went to grab the phone
It was only for a second that you left him there alone
If you let the damn phone ring perhaps your boy would be alive
But I don't want to tell you that, I want to tell you lies

The fact that you were speeding caused that car to overturn
And we couldn't get them out of there before the whole thing burned
Did they suffer? Yes, they suffered, as they slowly burned alive
But I don't want to say those words, I want to tell you lies

But I have to tell it like it is, until my shift is through
And then the real lies begin, when I come home to you,
You ask me how my day was, and I say it was just fine
I hope you understand, sometimes, I have to tell you lies

To all my EMS family...stay strong and stay safe out there.

Signing off 23:26

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

funny experiment...

I have been fighting a cold on and off for the past 2 weeks. I bought some day/night cold medicine when I first got sick not thinking anything of it and started taking it.   The other day I started feeling sick again.  Having finished up the meds that I bought 2 weeks ago I decided while I was out shopping last night to pick up some more.

So I went to rite aide and in my attempt to buy this stuff the lady asked me for my birthday (which i supplied to her because it has something to do with the new law that they passed).  Well then she claimed computer/register froze and she calls for the manager who punches some keys and then asks again for my birthday.  After entering it in the computer he informs me that I am over the allowed amount of medicine that I can buy for the month (never checked my ID or anything).  I was nice about it because I was in a good mood and said ok and left.

I then tried to figure out on my way to the car how that was possible.  I had never before been asked to give my birthday when I have purchased cold meds.  Still in need of meds for the cold I still had I decided to have some fun and see if I could buy stuff at the walgreens a block over from the rite aide.

I picked out the same meds that I just tried to buy at the rite aide and went to the walgreens cashier.  She scanned the box and as I watched the register screen ask for a birthday she punched in a generic birthday and completed the sale.  Telling me that she hoped I felt better soon I said thanks and walked out of the store.


I contemplated why my experience was so different at the two stores.  The lady at rite aide was a middle aged woman who looked like she had been a cashier there forever.  The lady at walgreens looked to be in her mid 20's who was probably working to earn some cash while in college.

Any thoughts??


The United States Congress has recognized that pseudoephedrine is used in the illegal manufacture of methamphetamine. In 2005, the Committee on Education and the Workforce heard testimony concerning education programs and state legislation designed to curb this illegal practice.
Congress passed the Combat Methamphetamine Epidemic Act of 2005 ("CMEA") as an amendment to the renewal of the USA PATRIOT Act. Signed into law by president George W. Bush on March 6, 2006, the act amended 21 U.S.C. § 830 concerning the sale of pseudoephedrine-containing products. The law mandated two phases, the first needing to be implemented by April 8, 2006 and the second phase to be completed by September 30, 2006. The first phase dealt primarily with implementing the new buying restrictions based on amount, while the second phase encompassed the requirements of storage, employee training, and record keeping.[28] Though the law was mainly directed at pseudoephedrine products it also applies to all over the counter products containing:ephedrine, pseudoephedrine, and phenylpropanolamine, their salts, optical isomers, and salts of optical isomers.[28] Pseudoephedrine was defined as a "scheduled listed chemical product" under 21 U.S.C. § 802 (45(A)). The act included the following requirements for merchants ("regulated sellers") who sell such products:
  • Required a retrievable record of all purchases, identifying the name and address of each party, to be kept for two years
  • Required verification of proof of identity of all purchasers
  • Required protection and disclosure methods in the collection of personal information
  • Required reports to the Attorney General of any suspicious payments or disappearances of the regulated products
  • Required training of employees with regard to the requirements of the CMEA. Retailers must self-certify as to training and compliance.
  • The non-liquid dose form of regulated products may only be sold in unit dose blister packs
  • Regulated products must be stored behind the counter or in a locked cabinet in such a way as to restrict public access
  • Daily sales limit—must not exceed 3.6 grams of pseudoephedrine base without regard to the number of transactions
  • 30-day (not monthly) sales limit—must not exceed 7.5 grams of pseudoephedrine base if sold by mail order or "mobile retail vendor"
  • 30-day purchase limit—must not exceed 9 grams of pseudoephedrine base. (A misdemeanor possession offense under 21 U.S.C. § 844a
    for the person who buys it.)
In regards to the identification that may be used by an individual buying pseudoephedrine products the following constitute acceptable forms of identification:
  • US passport
  • Alien registration or permanent resident card
  • Unexpired foreign passport with temporary I-551 stamp
  • Unexpired Employment Authorization Document
  • Driver's License or Government issued identification card (including Canadian driver's license)
  • School ID with picture
  • Voter's Registration card
  • US Military Card
  • Native American tribal documents

Signing off 08:18

    Monday, October 11, 2010


    yes you heard right folks! I have now decided to become a vegetarian! Why, you ask? Well for one thing it has become quite apparent to me that I feel sick whenever I eat meat. I had given up on beef awhile ago and was never interested in fish (eeww) The only meat i was really into eating was chicken. That usually consisted of the fried variety (which isn't good for me) so I have decided to give that up too.
    So I had my last bit of meat this morning which consisted of some really gross bacon which made up my mind for me about changing my lifestyle. This should prove to be interesting, if not difficult for me, considering I have been eating meat for as long as I can remember.
    I prepared my lunch for tomorrow already (veggie soup and fruit salad) and I have my breakfast all set too (yogurt and a cereal bar with some OJ). I will be writing about my experience as often as I remember (and have something to say about the whole thing).
    For now, Angus and Midnight will remain carnivores (at 11 years old Midnight is very set in her ways about eating...who ever heard of vegetarian cat food anyway?!)

    Signing off 00:39

    Wednesday, September 22, 2010

    This has really nothing to do with anything else here except itself (Gathering Time)

    first off it's Mabon! Happy Mabon! for those of you who aren't sure of that exactly I can propose some help which I got from Wikipedia as follows....
    "Autumnal Equinox: The holiday of Autumn Equinox, Harvest Home, Mabon, the Feast of the Ingathering, Meán Fómhair or Alban Elfed (in Neo-Druidic traditions), is a ritual of thanksgiving for the fruits of the earth and a recognition of the need to share them to secure the blessings of the Goddess and the God during the winter months. The name Mabon was coined by Aidan Kelly around 1970 as a reference to Mabon ap Modron, a character from Welsh mythology.[14] In the northern hemisphere this equinox occurs anywhere from September 21 to 24. In the southern hemisphere, the autumn equinox occurs anywhere from March 18–22. Among the sabbats, it is the second of the three harvest festivals, preceded by Lammas/Lughnasadh and followed by Samhain."

    Next stop: Samhain (Oct 31)

    Well enough of that! I HAD to post this video (I will in just a in a minute after I finish babbling) because although this video has really nothing to do with anything else in this particular post except itself, I love it!

    The people in the video are my friends Glen, Stu, and Hillary and they are this awesome folky rock trio called Gathering Time ( Angus and I are groupies of Gathering Time's and we are called The Gatherers (thanks to Hillary for the name). We gather at their shows, sing, dance, harass the band, and generally just have a swell time!
    So anyway, Angus posted me this video on facebook and I felt like I just had to share it with my blogging world. After all this is my blog and I post whatever I want. The band is also particularly awesome and they write their own songs too. They have a CD out now called Songs Of Hope And Freedom and the songs and harmonies are killer. Really killer. So without further blathering on from me, here they are....

    Insanely good aren't they? Try to get to one of their live shows! Even better!!

    Well that's all for me for now!

    Signing off 23:23

    Sunday, September 12, 2010

    This is more important than anything else!

    I went to a rally today in Mineola with other members of my fire department. We were there to demand that we are being listened to and to drum up support for a family and a community who has been fighting an injustice for 4 years. That injustice is that Malverne Firefighter Paul Brady's (who was tragically killed in the line of duty in 2006) name has not yet been added to the Fallen Firefighters Memorial Wall in Albany! (

    They gave out flyers there with info about how to contact your New York State Officials about supporting the 2 bills that are being proposed in the Assembly and the Senate.

    Assembly Bill #A10836-A and Senate Bill #S8450 both propose to amend section 7 of the Volunteer Firefighters Benefit Law (VFBL) by adding a new subdivision which will mandate that the name of any Line of Duty Death be honored by inscribing the Firefighters name on the wall in Albany.

    Contact your Assembly rep at
    Just type in your zip code and then click on the rep that comes up for your district. When you are sent to their page click CONTACT on the left side of the page and send them an email asking them to support the assembly bill listed above and let them know WHY they should support it.

    Contact you Senate rep at and send your rep an email asking them to support the senate bill listed above and let them know WHY they should support it.

    If you need more info as to what happened to Paul I am posting some links below. Paul's name is on the NATIONAL MONUMENT in Maryland and the NASSAU COUNTY MONUMENT in Garden City. SO WHY IS HIS NAME NOT ON THE STATE WALL?


    What a load of rediculous nonsense!

    Paul Brady:

    Please send your reps emails! This is the only way we are going to get this passed!!

    RIP Brother! We won't stop until your name is on the wall where it should be!!

    Signing Off 13:05

    Sunday, September 5, 2010

    labor day already?

    I did a 24 shift on call with the FD Friday into Saturday, cleaned out the EMS supply closet and made up an inventory list. Way to start a weekend! It's labor day already?? This time last year I was contemplating switching careers. This year I switched jobs again. Our new year is quickly approaching, Sooie and James booked their wedding venue, and school starts. Looking forward to assisting with wedding planning and enjoying fall. Can't believe it's labor day already!

    Signing Off 17:37

    Tuesday, August 31, 2010

    Peace Train

    Now I've been happy lately,
    thinking about the good things to come
    And I believe it could be,
    something good has begun

    Oh I've been smiling lately,
    dreaming about the world as one
    And I believe it could be,
    some day it's going to come

    Cause out on the edge of darkness,
    there rides a peace train
    Oh peace train take this country,
    come take me home again

    Now I've been smiling lately,
    thinking about the good things to come
    And I believe it could be,
    something good has begun

    Oh peace train sounding louder
    Glide on the peace train
    Come on now peace train
    Yes, peace train holy roller

    Everyone jump upon the peace train
    Come on now peace train

    Get your bags together,
    go bring your good friends too
    Cause it's getting nearer,
    it soon will be with you

    Now come and join the living,
    it's not so far from you
    And it's getting nearer,
    soon it will all be true

    Now I've been crying lately,
    thinking about the world as it is
    Why must we go on hating,
    why can't we live in bliss

    Cause out on the edge of darkness,
    there rides a peace train
    Oh peace train take this country,
    come take me home again

    Copyright: Cat Stevens 1971

    Signing Off 00:38

    So much going on

    If I actually sat down and blogged at least once a week like I would like to then I'd be a happier person. Last time I posted was last month! Lame...I know...Well I guess I should update on the last month or so then....

    So far so good....haven't fallen down yet this month....not so the last 2 years....

    I've been a AEMT-CC for a year as of July 31st! (Still trying to figure out where I fit in and how to use my skills to help and not just waste the patient's time) But as with anything else it takes time....I didn't get comfortable with my basic skills until I was a tech for 2 or 3 years. So I guess by the time I am ready for my refresher I should be ok!

    August 10th, 2010 was Midnight and Lola's 11th Birthday!  Can't believe the fur babies are 11 already!  Happy Birthday girls!!

    Unfortunately August 26th was the 14th anniversary of Gram's passing....I know she is keeping an eye on me and she reminds me that she is still around every once in awhile.  :)  Thanks for still being there in spirit Gram....I love you and miss you so much. 

    That brings me to the end of the month!  This past Saturday the 28th we had Sooie and James' engagement party at the LVFD!  What a great time and it was fabulous meeting his family!

    Well I think I hit all the major stuff for the month.  I am going to try really hard to blog at least once a week from now on....we'll see how THAT goes....

    signing off.....for now...... :)    

    Signing Off 00:34

    Tuesday, July 20, 2010


    been feeling kinda blah lately. hate everything. no energy. just feel lousy. don't even want to go to calls any more.

    what the hell is wrong with me?

    blog again when my mood improves.

    Signing Off 23:44

    Sunday, July 4, 2010

    blogging from the car!

    So I have discovered that blogger has a mobile site which will now allow me to blog from my blackberry! This will make it easier to pour out my insanity to my readers from wherever I am! So look for more blogs coming as I explore this new avenue. I'm headed over to my Mom's house to take her out for lunch and then see what the day brings us.
    I am going to share one deep insight into what I have learned this 4th of July weekend. Ok, that sounds reasonable enough.
    I pondered this question for all of 2 1/2 minutes and discovered that I HAVE AN EXTRA DAY OFF THIS WEEK!! Yea for me!!! Hopefully I will get something accomplished other then sitting on my ass tomorrow!

    Happy Birthday USA!!!!

    Signing Off 13:06

    Wednesday, June 30, 2010

    speaking of....


    what is life? how do you define it?
    is just BEING good enough?
    should you try to improve your being?
    are you good enough as you are?


    i like being who i am,
    i've gotten quite used my being in the last 30 years
    what would come about if i couldn't stand myself?
    would i change into someone else or
    would i continue to hate myself?

    at least that's one person i don't have to worry about

    things to change part 1:

    my bad attitude
    intolerance of stupidity
    people's inability to handle the simplest tasks without fucking up
    the way the planets are aligned
    the surface of the sun
    the way the sun makes my hair burning hot when i've sat in the car for awhile on a hot day
    certain people's immaturity and pure disregard for others
    my brown eyes
    the spot on the rug of unknown origin


    live life to the best of my ability
    take things as they come and go
    don't worry so damn much
    i'm in love with my air conditioner
    bed head is bad news
    what matters at noon doesn't necessarily matter at 3am
    loves makes the heart grow
    understanding is understandable


    Signing Off 00:30

    Monday, June 28, 2010

    Aura color meanings

    This is way interesting!

    Signing Off 00:04

    Wind On Sea by Anuna

    The song is beautiful but I can't find any link of the song to post but here are the words.....very haunting and poetic......

    Ailiu iath nErenn...

    I am the wind that breathes on the sea
    I am the wave, wave on the ocean
    I am the ray, the eye of the sun
    I am the tomb, cold in the darkness

    Who but I can cast light upon the meeting of the mountains?
    Who but I will find the place where hides away the sun?

    I am a star, the tear of the sun
    I am a wonder, a wonder in flower
    I am the spear as it cries out for blood
    The word of great power
    I am the wind that breathes on the sea

    Who but I can cast light upon the meeting of the mountains?
    Who but I will cry aloud the changes in the moon?
    Who but I will find the place where hides away the sun?

    I am the depths of a great pool
    I am the song of the blackbird
    I am wind that breathes on the sea

    Who but I can cast light upon the meeting of the mountains?
    Who but I will cry aloud the changes in the moon?
    Who but I will find the place where hides away the sun?

    Ailiu iath nErenn...

    From the breeze on the mountain to the lake of deep blue
    From the waterfall down to the sea
    Never changing or ending on the voice of the wind
    Sing the dark song of Erenn to me

    Ailiu iath nErenn...

    Signing Off 00:04

    Sunday, June 27, 2010

    my life is what it is

    my life is what it is
    you don't like it stay the hell out
    i listen to what other people have to say
    i hear the whispers of them all, with their careers
    their new cars, their husbands and wives
    their big houses, their kids

    i don't care and i don't compare
    my life to theirs

    i have a full time job, a car that's paid off, a boyfriend of two years,
    live rent free, have a cat that is my kid, the fire house,
    good friends, a mom and a dad, two sisters, a niece and one grudge

    against all the people who want to know what i am doing
    with my 30 year old life

    its getting old folks!
    the whispers, the comparisons, the talk, and the stares
    the jokes, the rumors, I JUST DON'T CARE!

    My life turned out this way for a reason
    i do what i do and that is enough
    for all you nay sayers
    walk around in my shoes for a day
    and i bet you couldn't live this way

    so go back to your houses, cars, careers, and kids
    i am perfectly happy the way that i live

    c. 2010 Moonghozt

    Signing Off 23:40

    Saturday, June 12, 2010

    Dad's dance recital video!

    This is my Dad, Carrie, and Julie dancing to "Back In Business" by Madonna.

    2010 Gone Dancing Recital, Oyster Bay, New York

    Signing Off 21:25

    Tuesday, June 1, 2010

    things you find in the jungleyard....

    On Sunday  Dad, and I began work on clearing the jungleyard from the back most part of our acreage here in the valley.  I kid you was a jungle.....we haven't used the backyard in any sort of capacity in 15 years or was a little overgrown.  as we were working we kept finding things.....yes....FINDING things.  buried under years of wild bushes, thorn bushes and mayhem (i hate thorn bushes).  so for my own amusement i kept a running list of what we it is:

    things you find in the jungleyard: a list

    1. empty plastic water bottle
    2. LARGE chunk of asphalt
    3. chicken wire buried in dirt
    4. one 2x4
    5. empty bag of doritos
    6. two baseballs
    7. half full plastic water bottle
    8. rotted wood
    9. half of a plastic bucket
    10. what once was a red rubber ball
    11. a fork
    12. unidentified plastic object
    13. many many miles of thorn vines
    14. a wrapper for something
    15. the yard cart
    16. rusted metal thingie
    17. lots of holes in the ground
    18. rotted fence post

    welcome to the be continued.....

    Signing Off 22:03

    Friday, May 14, 2010


    I guess I've been putting THIS new post off long's been a rough few weeks.
    Being in the field of work I'm in I see a lot of people just trying to survive.  Just trying to get to the next day, the next week, the next month.  Meanwhile they are sick, can't breathe, can't eat, on so many meds it would make your head spin.  But they WANT to survive.  Then there are the ones who have an existence that's, job, car, kids, not sick, not on drugs but they don't want to survive.  I'm muddling about in my life still figuring things out (yes, i survived 30 and still have no clue where my life is going) and these people want to wipe themselves out.  I saw my first one a few years after getting into the fire department and let me tell you, 11 years in they don't get any easier.  Kinda like the first cardiac arrest I rode in chance he was gonna make it, but I lost it at the hospital anyway and cried my eyes out for a good 15 minutes.  It wasn't fair....why was I picked for this business? Why me?  But I guess I was destined so I stayed put....let me tell you...I survived that indoctrination....everyone who does this has to.

    My first ever time I had to deal with suicide was a friend in high school....we were 17 years old.....think you don't think of that stuff at 17?  Think again.  17 was two years before I joined the fire department....I was raised on the fire Dad joined when I was 4 years old.....he became a single parent when I was 9.  So where did we go when he had meetings and drills? Anyone have a guess?  I do know that I was probably programmed with this in my blood at birth, my Mom being an EMT and my Dad being an EMT-I prior to my being born.  I don't really sweat the calls as much as I did when I younger and greener.....the guy under the train was no problem to deal with.....he would have been 10 years ago though.  I tell all the new kids that come in that if a call bothers them they should come talk about it to us.  Don't keep it in cause it will chew you up and spit you out in the end.

    Suicide is harder to deal with when it's a friend as it was this past month.  I don't blame him for doing it but I'm angry him for leaving behind all those who cared for him and that who loved him with no explanation.  I totally understand the mentality it takes to get to that place where you want to off yourself.  I've been there, trust me, it sucks.  I got counseling at the time, changed my life and got better.  Now all I want to do is live because most of the time I love it.  I just hope my friend found the peace he was looking for and I hope we will all be able to move on.  I'm not going to forget him, mind you, but I will remember him for who he was and what a good friend he was.  Not how he went out.

    So I continue to survive every day and I intend to enjoy my life! I had a rockin' birthday party, FINALLY got myself a new laptop (no more dinosaur!) and have been hanging out with people who are good for me.
    Some more bad news did creep in but like everything else you gotta take it in and move on.  The daycare I work for is closing so at the end of May I will be jobless!
    So we will see where this adventure of my life will go and see what otherpossibilities are out there......hence the title of my blog.

    Rest in Peace brother.....hopefully I will meet you again someday.

    Signing Off 16:48

    Wednesday, April 28, 2010

    I turned 30

    well the day has finally come....I'm now 30.....I've left my 20's behind with a bang! WELCOME 30!
    Only it didn't start out so well......I found out this morning that a close friend took his own life.....
    I'm at work and I get the call......
    I had to step out into the hall so I wouldn't lose it in front of the kids.....
    This fucking sucks.....I need to write a poem which will probably follow this blog up.


    On a happier note Sooie gave me the COOLEST present! She made me a photo album of pics of me from when I was little up till now!

    So happy birthday to me happy birthday to me happy birthday I'm awesome happy birthday to me!
    check out the link below for some birthday humor at my expense!

    Meri sings Happy Birthday to Herself

    Signing Off 00:23

    Monday, April 5, 2010


    today is the first day of the rest of my life
    today is my little sister's birthday....she is 28
    today is monday
    today i can't sleep
    today i go back to work
    today i am writing a new blog
    today i am contemplating buying a new laptop
    today is 22 days before my birthday
    today i realized that in 22 days i will be 30
    today is a good day to start something new
    today my eyes are brown
    today it is dark outside
    today i will wear shorts
    today i did not get a sunburn
    today my blackberry needs a reboot
    today expect the unexpected
    today its finally warm
    today will be ok
    today my back will not hurt
    today i will stick to my diet
    today the enter key on my laptop will work
    today i will be happy
    today she sells seashells by the seashore
    today i will talk to myself
    today i can hear the raccoons in my neighbors trash
    today i will forgive myself
    today i will just be me
    today has come
    today is not tomorrow.....yet

    Signing Off 01:42

    Wednesday, March 3, 2010


    A few things that I find amazing:

    1. Waking up in the morning

    2. How anyone can love me even though I can be a royal pain in the ass sometimes

    3. That the kids I teach are so innocent and the things they say are so observant

    4. How easily trust can be broken and how hard it is to build it up again

    5. How much I really love myself but don't like to admit it

    6. How much regret I have

    7. How much I've learned from my life

    8. How smart my dad REALLY is

    9. How I should really listen to my dad when he has advice for me

    10. How much I love working with kids

    11. How much I love working on an ambulance

    12. Flowers when they start growing in the spring

    13. Spring

    14. How human my cat is

    15. How much I love playing and listening to music

    16. How my life has turned out

    17. How my family and friends and always there for me

    Thanks for listening to my random nonsense

    Signing Off 13:05

    Thursday, February 25, 2010

    Rules Of Real World EMS

    I found an old newspaper clipping a few weeks ago when I was digging thru the attic looking for something.  It was a clipping I had saved from the September 2001 edition of Fire News.  Then I remember why I had saved it.  Despite the tragedy of 9/11/01 when we lost 343 of our brother firefighters when the Twin Towers collapsed, Fire News printed an amusing list (trying, I think to give us something to snicker at and forget, for just a second what had happened).  This list was entitled RULES OF REAL WORLD EMS and as a tribute of sorts I'm going to write it down for all of you to peruse.


    1. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round: any variation on these themes is a bad thing.

    2. Sick people don't bitch.

    3. The more equipment you see on an EMT's belt, the newer they are.

    4. When dealing with patients, supervisors, or citizens, if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.

    5. All bleeding stops....eventually.

    6. If the child is quiet, be scared.

    7. EMS is extended periods of intense boredom interrupted by occasional moments of sheer terror.

    8. If the patient LOOKS sick, then the patient IS sick.

    9. If the patient is sitting up and talking to you, then the patient is not in V-Fib, no matter what the monitor says.

    10. It is generally bad to use the words "holy shit" on scene, in reference to the patient's condition.

    11. When responding to a call, always remember that you ambulance was built by the lowest bidder.

    12. Never get into the front of the ambulance with someone who is braver than you are.

    13. The number of drugs a patient has on board is directly proportional to the number of knuckles tattooed.

    14. If you respond to an MVA (motor vehicle accident) after midnight and you don't see a drunk, keep looking-you've missed a patient.

    15. A tourniquet around the neck solves all problems.

    16. All fevers eventually fall to room temperature.

    17. Asystole is a very stable rhythm.

    18. A patient's weight is in direct proportion to their altitude in the building.

    19. When a call comes in two minutes before shift change, you will always pass your relief one block from the station, and he/she/it will be laughing and waving at you.

    20. Universal Precautions- Is it wet? Is it yours? If it is, and it isn't then leave it alone.

    21. Death is a stabilization of the patient's condition.

    22.Being in Emergency Services means you get to celebrate your holidays with all your friends while on duty.

    23. There are two kinds of EMS calls, "Oh shit!" and "Bullshit".

    24. The more reflective striping there is on your jumpsuit, the easier it is for the only drunk driver going by the MVA to find you.

    25. We are all slaves to the god "Motorola".

    26. The stereo must always be louder than the siren.

    27. Your patients will get new symptoms after your radio report and pulling up to the ER.

    28. Don't get excited about blood unless it's your own.

    29. No matter how many times and ways you ask the patient questions, the story will always change once they get into the ER, making you look like an ass.

    30. People don't call an ambulance because they didn something right.

    31. If they talk, they walk.

    32. Working  EMS means knowing how to ask in seven different languages "Where are your shoes?:

    Oh yeah, and if you haven't yet, check out FDNY's Line Of Duty Death Memorial Website.....I know a couple of the guys who died.....R.I.P Tommy, Pete and George....your legacy still lives on!

    Signing Off 19:41

    Sunday, February 21, 2010


    *This poem is the first I have written in months. I got the inspiration one nite after looking at myself in the mirror in the staff room at the hospital. I was dead tired and had run yet another call that nite. I looked very old in the harsh light of that bathroom mirror and I vowed never to let myself forget how far I'd come in 11 years.*


    I swiveled in my seat peering behind me
    Five eager faces stared back, a sea of orange helmet shields.
    At the scene of the call they stand, wide eyed and gawking
    Can't blame them really....they are newbies in the fire service
    Don't have experience....not like I do.
    I guess eleven years in will do that to just turn off your emotions and deal with the problems.
    The problems that arise in the middle of the night, during a blizzard.
    Up and out of bed......again.

    Sometimes you just laugh at them....the patients.....after you bring them in....
    to the hospital where I know all the ER Docs and Nurses by their first names
    And the new kid asks me where to get a clean sheet for the stretcher.

    I look in the mirror in the staff room and don't like what I see.
    Cold eyes, dark circles under them and a grimly set mouth....I'm tired...
    I run my hand over my face trying to wipe away the years of experience
    Can't's etched on my soul....
    Eleven years of shit, blood, pain, suffering....
    Eleven years of helping, hoping, praying, laughing and joking....

    They are my brothers and sisters, the ones who serve with me.
    Some much older who have more time in then I've been alive,
    Some veterans like me who have seen lots but have more life left,
    And some orange shielded newbies who ain't seen shit yet.

    c.2010 Moonghozt

    Signing Off 16:17

    Friday, February 5, 2010

    CSNY's Ohio and The Kent State Massacre

    Well I seem to be on a roll now and I promised Angus that I would continue with my songs connected with history series.

    So here is Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young's song OHIO and how it relates to The Kent State Massacre on May 4th 1970

    For those of you who don't know what the hell I'm talking about the links will follow.....I promise!

    *The photo to the left was taken by John Filo.  The young woman is Mary Ann Vecchio kneeling over the body of Jeffery Miller (who was killed in the massacre)*

    According to my favorite source (, the following is a quick summary of what happened:

    "The Kent State shootings, also known as the May 4 massacre or Kent-State massacre, occurred at Kent State University in the city of Kent, Ohio, and involved the shooting of unarmed college students by members of the Ohio National Guard on Monday, May 4, 1970. The guardsmen fired 67 rounds over a period of 13 seconds, killing four students and wounding nine others, one of whom suffered permanent paralysis."

    "Some of the students who were shot had been protesting against the American invasion of Cambodia, which President Richard Nixon announced in a television address on April 30. Other students who were shot had been walking nearby or observing the protest from a distance."

    "There was a significant national response to the shootings: hundreds of universities, colleges, and high schools closed throughout the United States due to a student strike of four million students, and the event further divided the country, at an already socially contentious time, about the role of the United States in the Vietnam War."

    Neil Young wrote OHIO in reaction to the incident, he saw photos in Life Magazine.  CSNY recorded it shortly after the massacre and released it that June.

    I wasn't alive in 1970 but I did learn about this event in a class I took in college about the history of protests in the US. After further investigation I connected this with Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young's (CSNY) song OHIO. I actually knew the song first...around junior high school I guess....but then it was just a really kick ass song!

    Interestingly enough one of the young men killed in the massacre (Jeffery Miller) had attended Plainview-Old Bethpage High School (which is about 1/2 hour from where I live).

    Here's the link for the Wikipedia article:

    Here is a link to the web page of one of the survivors of the massacre Alan Canfora:

    Here's a link to CSNY's song OHIO article on Wikipedia:

    The Wikipedia article lists about 20 artists and their songs which were inspired by the massacre...the first being CSNY's OHIO.

    That being said here are two videos, the first is a tribute video that was made using pictures from the incident over CSNY singing OHIO:

    The second video is a live version of CSNY singing OHIO in 1974:

    Hopefully this will inspire people to be more in tune with what's going on around them and let them realize that music is used for more than enjoyment.

    Rest In Peace:

    Jeffrey Glenn Miller; age 20
    Allison B. Krause; age 19
    William Knox Schroeder; age 19
    Sandra Lee Scheuer; age 20

    Signing Off 21:21

    Thursday, February 4, 2010

    My blog on Stephen Biko

    Stephen Biko

    Peter Gabriel's song BIKO came up on my Pandora Radio ( a few minutes ago and I felt the urge to blog about it. I posted the links on my facebook but am always interested in saving the important stuff in my blog too....again, random stuff that usually has nothing to do with anything.

    For those of you who will read this and wonder what the hell I am talking about the links to info will follow..I promise!

    The first time I heard BIKO was in 1994...I was a 14 year old and very curious about everything. I had purchased the Woodstock '94 CD's and listened to them through until I got to this song. I was was so sad...I remember that the name sounded familiar to me so I did what every kid would have done before the age of the internet being in every house...I went to the library!

    After several hours of research I was completely appalled by what I had learned.
    How ridiculous of grownups! How could they DO that!? Now mind you I was a pretty easy going and shy kid who was very non confrontational....I didn't really understand violence and how people could hate based on skin color, race, creed, beliefs, ect.

    Well I still don't really understand why people do stuff like that (and I'm almost 30) but I think you kind of get immune to it if you see it enough (it's all over the news and the net all the time, right?!)

    It's amazing the stuff that stands out in your mind from your life...of all the things for a 14 year old to be interested in....I was always reading and looking to learn more stuff about everything. That's why I have a random knowledge base about lots of different topics...always reading!

    Getting back to Steven Biko....

    The following come straight from wikipedia:

    "Stephen Bantu Biko (18 December 1946 – 12 September 1977) was a noted anti-apartheid activist in South Africa in the 1960s and 1970s. A student leader, he later founded the Black Consciousness Movement which would empower and mobilize much of the urban black population. Since his death in police custody, he has been called a martyr of the anti-apartheid movement. While living, his writings and activism attempted to empower black people, and he was famous for his slogan "black is beautiful", which he described as meaning: "man, you are okay as you are, begin to look upon yourself as a human being". Despite friction between the African National Congress and Biko throughout the 1970s, the ANC has included Biko in the pantheon of struggle heroes, going as far as using his image for campaign posters in South Africa's first non-racial elections in 1994."

    If that has peaked your interest in this topic, the rest of the page is at this link:

    Peter Gabriel's song:

    Sadly the police officers who murdered Biko were never brought to justice but his life and death impacted a lot of people and affected lots of change in South Africa and the world over.

    Rest In Peace Stephen Biko

    Signing Off 20:36

    Tuesday, February 2, 2010

    What has to say about me.....

    Well I was bored today....what a surprise!

    I was on facebook just before and I noticed a few of my friends had searched their names on and posted the results in their statuses (if that is even a word)

    So I figured WHY THE HELL NOT!

    "Meredith" as defined by

    Meredith is another name for a cool, mellow girl. She can go with the flow, but if things get extreme, she can deal with it. She's funny when she wants to be, and can adapt to a variety of personalities. This brand of girl is usually found in the south, but you could find her anywhere. Oh yeah, and she's lactose intolerant.

    Kind of funny considering the source.....and for those of you wondering....I'm NOT lactose intolerant!

    According to a plaque that I have that explains my name origins"

    Meredith is a Celtic/Welsh name which was originally used as a male name but now is primarily a female name. It means "Guardian of the Sea"

    I like my Grandma Barbara picked it parents wanted to name me Kimberly and my Grandma told them that she couldn't imagine a 90 year old woman in a nursing home being called Kim! So hence I am Meredith!

    I can't imagine a 90 year old woman in a nursing home being called Meri...but she DID have a bit of a point..... :) She only lived to be 73 and everyone called her least she didn't end up in a nursing home!

    Love ya and miss ya Gram....I know you are keeping an eye on me from the next world :) Oh...and thanks for the kick ass name!

    Signing Off 21:33

    Tuesday, January 26, 2010

    Weird how stuff encountered separately comes together somehow.....

    So I've been reading this book by Patrick Taylor called "An Irish Country Doctor. It's about a new doctor who starts to practice in Ireland in the 1960's....pretty good stuff....fiction and right up my alley.

    So anyway I was reading today and the doctors were dealing with a unmarried young woman who had become pregnant by accident (big taboo then). The young doctor (Laverty) and his boss (O'Reilly) were mulling over it and one of them saw a magpie fly by and remarked "One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl, and four for a boy" after saluting the magpie.
    Now this sounded really familiar to I thought about it and then remembered where I'd heard it's in a Counting Crows song called "A Murder of One". So me being the curious sort that I am went searching....

    The lyrics for the the specific part of the song I was looking at are:

    "Well, I dreamt I saw you walking up a hillside in the snow,
    Casting shadows on the winter sky as you stood there counting crows.
    One for sorrow, two for joy, three for girls, and four for boys, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told."

    So then I found out from Wikipedia that there is apparently Magpie lore in the UK:

    As found here:

    I posted the associated part below but the whole thing is interesting!

    Magpie lore in Britain

    The best known rhyme associated with magpies is:

    One for sorrow,
    Two for joy,
    Three for a girl,
    Four for a boy,
    Five for silver,
    Six for gold,
    And seven for a secret never to be told.

    This was popularised by the British children's programme Magpie.

    One continued version of the poem is:

    Eight's a kiss,
    Nine's a wish,
    Ten's a bird you should never miss.

    Then me still being the curious sort wanted to know what was up with the crows!! So I did a little more digging and came up with this:

    As found here:

    Origin of the name

    The band took its name from a divination rhyme about the crow, heard by Duritz in the film "Signs of Life". The rhyme begins the third verse (around the 2:07 mark) of the song "A Murder of One" on the album August and Everything After : "Well I dreamt I saw you walking up a hillside in the snow / Casting shadows on the winter sky as you stood there, counting crows / One for sorrow, two for joy / Three for girls and four for boys / Five for silver, six for gold / Seven for a secret never to be told."

    In the poem, the act of counting crows is particularly useless. This recalls a traditional rhyme: "One crow means sorrow, two crows mean joy, three crows a wedding, four crows a boy, five crows mean silver, six crows mean gold, seven crows a secret that's never been told." In the United Kingdom, the rhyme is well known but uses magpies rather than crows. A popular superstition is that if one sees a single magpie, one should greet it to deflect the "sorrow".

    It's bizarre that two things completely unrelated can be related somehow!

    Signing Off 23:54

    Friday, January 1, 2010

    Happy New Decade!

    Thinking about how much went on in the last 10 years and realizing how bizarre my life has been gave me a clue as to how to start 2010.

    New decade, new opportunities...hell I'm gonna be 30 this year...Time to finish school, get out of debt, stop over planning my life and just let it happen. I feel like my life is going to take off in 2010 and I am READY!!

    Happy New Decade!!

    Signing Off 14:56