Thursday, November 17, 2011

My first poem in over a year...

This is dedicated to D.


How can you ever understand how much you mean to me?

I see you are I soar...I can do anything.

You leave and it devastates me for days.

I am truly lost without you.

I see you in the rising sun as you fill me with warmth.

I see you in the bright, full moon as you make me calm and confident.

I see you in the crashing ocean waves as you move me with your vibrant personality.

I see you in the flowers that grow as you are silent and strong in my eyes.

I love you and admire you so much yet how can I truly show you how much you mean to me?

Copyright 2011

Signing off 06:55

Friday, November 4, 2011


As I have been wrapped up this week with all sorts of stuff I managed to overlook the one major thing that has happened this week (excluding Sooie's wedding). D and I have been dating for 1 month as of November 1st!

It's amazing how much my life has changed in just a month.

For those who don't know our story I will tell you.

D and I met online about 8 years ago. According to him, he did an online search for female firefighters in the tri-state area because he was interested in a female perspective on the job. Apparently I was the first listing and he contacted me on my MySpace profile page. I remember the initial message. I though it was weird that he contacted me out of the blue but I though he was cute and I was intrigued, so I answered him. We talked for awhile back and forth for several years losing touch in 2006 and then picking up again in 2007. We were both dating other people and he lived out of state so dating him really never crossed my mind I guess. We finally met face to face in 2007 when he came down to meet me and had been down here a few times after that prior to our dating. No matter what happened we always seemed to email or message and stay in touch.

This past summer when I broke up with my ex I called D because I was upset and wanted to talk to someone. He was always a good listener and was very comforting. He called me the next day to check on me and we started talking about relationships and the like. Was I shocked when he came out and told me that he has had a crush on me for the last 8 years! After much consideration and discussion we decided to give a relationship a try. We had both been in long term relationships before and understood that they took a lot of work but we were game.

Our first kiss happened at the train station when I arrived to pick him up on his first visit since we had decided to date. The gods honest truth is I have never been this comfortable with anyone before. We are very similar (which is kinda scary) but different so our relationship is interesting. He makes it very easy to love him and is very forgiving when I have a bad day and need to call him and vent.

So there is our story. Hopefully it will continue for a long time to come. :)


Signing off 04:56

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The wedding of the year!

The wedding of the year is fast approaching! My sister S and her fiance J are getting married on Saturday! We all are trying to iron down the last of the details and figure out the game plan for the rehearsal dinner, run thru of the ceremony and I also have to worry about D's arrival since he isn't that familiar with the area yet. Fun times! I'm only working tonite and then I am off till next Monday. Lucky for us we are staying at the same hotel that S is going to be staying at (strategic planning on my part) so it will be a little easier to coordinate everything. Not looking forward to wearing heels but I did get a kick ass pair of high top Converse sneakers in PINK that I can wear for the reception! :)

Signing off 05:59

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

It's been a month

Apparently since I posted anything new. A LOT has gone on in the last 34 days. I found myself single (again) at the beginning of September. I was quite upset but the break up had been several months in the making (to the shock of some of my friends). It finally took me to state the obvious to both of us (that it wasn't working) and we ended the relationship. 'Nuff said.

I had reconnected with an old friend awhile before my break up. We have been friends for around 8 years now and he confessed to me he has had a crush on me for many of those years. I was flattered and he suggested to me that when I was ready maybe we could go out sometime and see what happened. Well he came to visit at the beginning of October and we shared our first kiss. Sparks flew and now we are inseparable. It's tough dating someone who lives in another state. We talk on the phone several times a day and Skype at night when I get to work so at least we get to see each other. We get together and spend weekends together whether it's here in NY or there in CT. So far we have made it work pretty well. I love D very much and our relationship is unlike any other that I have ever been in. More to come in the months ahead.

Signing off 03:49

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

CO Poisoning and the First Responder

Posting 2 days in a row!  I actually have something important to say! 
This blog is about CO poisoning.  And firefighters.  Carbon monoxide is deadly.  Yeah that's can KILL you!  The following facts on CO was taken directly from the website

Carbon Monoxide Poisoning - The Silent Killer

Even though first responders are trained to understand the dangers of carbon monoxide (CO) poisoning and to recognize potential signs and symptoms, CO poisoning can go unrecognized and untreated, leading to short-term risk and long-term health problems.

Know the facts about CO poisoning

  • CO poisoning can be difficult to detect.
    • CO poisoning can present with flu-like symptoms, but it is also possible to be poisoned without having any symptoms at all.1
  • CO poisoning puts firefighters at significant risk at the scene of a fire.
    • Even mild CO poisoning causes mental confusion, which can lead to poor decision making, putting both the exposed firefighter and others on the fire scene at risk.2
    • Mild CO poisoning can also rob the heart and brain of oxygen – nearly 50% of line of duty firefighter deaths are attributed to heart disease or stroke.3 That's why new NFPA 1584 rehab standards support the use of on-scene CO testing.4
  • CO poisoning significantly increases long-term health risks.
    • Just one severe CO poisoning almost doubles the risk of premature death.5
    • Consistent exposure to CO poisoning may cause long term heart and brain damage.6

What you can do to protect yourself

  • Wear your mask during overhaul
  • Test for carbon monoxide in the blood with an approved noninvasive device
"Firefighters take necessary risks every day, but CO is an unnecessary risk. Educate yourself on CO, wear your mask during overhaul, avoid exposure, and get yourself tested... so you'll be around to share with your family, life's most precious moments."
Randolph Mantooth, Johnny Gage from Emergency!
1 Hampson NB et al. American Journal of Emergency Medicine. 26:665-669, 2008.
2 Jakubowski G. FireRescue Magazine. 22(11):52-55, 2004.
3 Bledsoe BE. FireRescue Magazine. September 2005.
4 NFPA 1584: Standards on the Rehabilitation Process for Members During Emergency Operations and Training Exercises. Annex A section A.
5 Hampson NB et al. Crit Care Med. 2009; 37(6): 1941-47.
6 Bledsoe BE. Journal of Emergency Medical Services. 32:54-59, 2007.

Watch the following video too:  Avoiding CO poisoning is very easy if you just use your head!

For all the civilians out there you need to be aware of CO also! Get a detector and change the batteries at least every time the time changes. Same as when you change your smoke detector batteries. Know the signs and symptoms of CO poisoning and if your detector alarms get the hell out of the house and call the fire department. We have meters for that.

CO calls go up during the fall and winter months. Especially now as people are turning their heat on. I just want everyone to be safe. Knowledge is power people!

Singing off 04:03

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Time for another pointless blog or, (look at my new Blackberry).

Hello again! Time for another pointless blog posting after 3am! :D This time it's actually about my new Blackberry Torch 2 (9810) :D

I realized a lot of what I write about makes no sense and is a rambling mess.  I have been wanting to actually start writing poetry again but haven't been thus motivated.  Something of substance will come out of my brain one day....hopefully.

Well yesterday was the day that I got my new Blackberry!  Thanks Fed-ex for coming back to my house to re-deliver because I am a putz and didn't hear the doorbell.

What can I say about it?  It's silver and black, has a touch screen AND a keyboard, and is probably the coolest piece of technology I have ever owned.  I put a screen protector on it already (apparently fingerprints annoy me) and ordered my otterbox for it (because sooner or later I WILL drop it).  I will be all set to go in case of nuclear holocaust or in case my klutziness kicks in again.  Because I got dinner with a friend last night and got up to steal a ketchup bottle off of another table and tripped over my own feet and fell down.  Graceful huh?!  He just laughed at me.....I think he still is too....

So I now am the proud owner of a VERY cool phone.  There are more features on it than there were on my old Bold....oh yeah, did I mention it has a TOUCH SCREEN?? So cool.

I'm gonna go do some work now (or watch a movie....)  Peace out!

Signing off 03:45

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The tattoo! (finally)

Well here I am again.  Early morning at work with nothing particularly interesting to say.  I didn't post a blog on 9/11 this year for a good reason.  I was in Rhode Island camping all weekend and didn't have access to a computer.  That and after 10 years of dealing with it, the pain, hurt, and anger come back worse every year so I decided to avoid it.  I wore my shirt and said a prayer for my friends who passed away but that was really it.  I avoided the news and the papers like the plague.

But on to happier things.  I finally got the fire department tattoo that I have been talking about for the last 2 years.  I will be in the FD for 12 years this coming November 8th.  That's a long time to be doing one particular thing and I am so proud that I have the opportunity to be a vollie that I wanted to proclaim it in ink.  The guy who did my tattoo (and the owner of the shop) is Chuck and he is a fireman as well as an EMT.  I wanted to get an artist who would understand the meanings behind the design and the symbolism as well.  Well I found him!  Actually, 4 different people recommended him to me and I was super impressed.  He took my idea and totally put an awesome spin on it!  For those of you who live in the NY area I would totally tell you to go see him if you need new ink!  Go support a brother and check out his site :

Peace out and have a great night!

Signing off 03:54

Friday, September 9, 2011

for lack of anything else to do (or..I am bored at work) and the breakup

For all the raving I do about my job (which I do love) there are moments (like this one at 04:45hrs) that there is NOTHING to do, NO ONE on the net to talk to, and I am BORED.  I guess I should update everyone on the latest happenings.  That being said...this could turn in to a L O N G blog post.  Not that I have anything else to do.  Had plenty to do yesterday here considering the fire alarm went off for 4 hours before someone came by to shut it off (I silenced the alarm here in our clinic trailer but the light was still blinking so I covered it with a towel).  Ridiculous.  But I digress....

I did all the computer entry/patient paperwork there was to do on this shift (took 2 hours) and am left with the rest of my 9 hour shift to do whatever.  Fantastic.

Digressing again....I warned you! :)

So I guess I need to let you guys in on a little secret.  OK well Angus and I split up.  Yeah...I know....I'm still a little sad about it but we decided it would be better for our mental health if we were just friends.  I liked that ring the end we realized that we weren't really happy.  In the end happiness must count for something.  So I won't dwell on it, I will move on and make the best of the situation.  Being single again....and now I'm 31 years old!  I guess this will give me more time to devote to the firehouse and to working.  I need a freaking hobby! :)

I mean, I write so I guess that could be a hobby.  Haven't written anything in awhile.  My motivation to do anything right now is pretty well nonexistent.  As in not present...I did go for a mile and a half walk today before I went to a meeting at the firehouse.  That was only because I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep.  Jeeze.  Only been sleeping 4-5 hours a day.  Which sucks when I wake up at 14:30hrs and don't have to be at work till 22:00.  Yeah...and then I fall asleep at work watching TV and wake up 20 minutes later.  Need to get more sleep.

Going camping in the morning with some friends.  I need to get the hell out of here for awhile.

Have a great weekend and I will see you on the flipside!

Signing off 05:01

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Sleep? What's sleep?

The title of this post is kind of ironic given what's been going on lately.  I've been working this awesome job that I love bunches.  It leaves me lots of time to study, read, blog, whatever while I am on shift.  This past week I worked some ridiculous amount of hours and ended up getting about 6 hours of sleep in one 3 day period.  Well that resulted in me going on a call with my FD that I don't exactly remember.  Sleep deprivation is a weird thing....I remember the pager going off and then the next thing I know I am standing in the middle of the ER staring at one of the probies making up the stretcher.  There were 2 other techs on the call so I wasn't in charge of patient care but apparently had an entire conversation with my co workers and don't remember it either.  When I brought it up to one of my buddies he said I was acting completely normally.  Weird.  I truly thought I was losing my mind for awhile there.  As I talked to a few of my tech friends I was told it's happened to them before and that I was operating automatically.  Good to know my training is so ingrained I can basically sleep thru a call and still get the job done.  Still scares me and I need to make sure I get enough sleep.  This coming week is going to be just as busy but I will have time to actually sleep....I have a day off between two long shifts.

Signing off 21:42

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Dumpster diving and an enlightening film

Dumpster diving?  What does that mean to you?  Have you even heard of it before?

According to wikipedia: dumpster diving is the practice of sifting through commercial or residential trash  to find items that have been discarded by their owners, but which may be useful to the dumpster diver.  (

Have I ever gone dumpster diving myself?  Picked stuff out of the trash to re-use?  Well, yeah.

It only makes sense!  People make a living off this stuff even! In the US 40-50% of the food thrown away by supermarkets and restaurants is perfectly good!!  Lots of stuff goes in the garbage that could be recycled or given to someone who can use it/make something out of it/re purpose it.

I even belong to a group where you can give away stuff and get stuff people are offering up for FREE.  Yeah that's right...FREE.

I furnished my first apartment pretty much based on what I got from freecycle.  Maybe with the exception of the bed that I came with.  I got a free sofa bed, lamps, dishes, pots, pans, hell I even got 2 free televisions.  FOR FREE.  All I had to do was drive to where the person had the item, pick it up, put it in the car, and take it home.  Done deal.

Well if anyone is wondering where this is going I will let you in on a little secret.  This blog is going to culminate in an awesome documentary that I recently watched on the topic of dumpster diving.  The two film makers moved into an apartment and then lived there for 3 months only getting all their stuff from the trash.  They ended up eating awesome well balanced meals and having more stuff than they knew what to do with just from dumpster diving.  It's a pretty sustainable lifestyle.  Re-using "trash".  They obtained 2 full wardrobes, food, furniture, appliances, and art materials all from the GARBAGE.  Perfectly good stuff someone didn't want because they probably got new stuff.  Then at the end of their "experiment" they gave all their stuff away...for FREE.


Consumerism sucks.

So watch the movie and let me know what you think.  What kind of impact could you be making on the planet?

I'm sure going to try harder now....

 Signing off 10:38

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Kingston Lounge. Abandoned and Historic Buildings

In my never ending search for cool stuff on the internet I inadvertently, but gladly found a fellow blogger who photographs and blogs about abandoned and historic buildings in New York.
The blog is called The Kingston Lounge- Guerrilla preservation and urban archaeology. Brooklyn and beyond.  The link to check it out:

I was on the site the other night and there are some excellent pictures of the abandoned buildings at Creedmore State (Psych Hospital), Hart Island, The abandoned hospital on North Brother Island (think Typhoid Mary), Buffalo State Hospital (abandoned), The Victory Theatre in MA, as well as others.  Pretty cool stepping backwards in time and seeing what it looked like when everyone just got up and left.  Some of the sites have collapsing roofs, animal damage and other issues but the pictures tell a story that you wouldn't believe.

I totally recommend checking them out.  For those of y'all on Facebook they have a page there too:

Check them out, you will not be disappointed.

Signing off 22:33

Friday, July 1, 2011

Fat Head...the documentary that sheds light on governmental involvement of nutrition and diets

I had the fortune to find this documentary and watch it last night. It's about the government and cover ups dealing with the fast food industry and nutrition in general. EVERYONE should watch it!! It pertains to me because I am in the middle of a diet, trying to lose 40-50 pounds before next summer. Now I have some more knowledge about how to better eat so I can improve my health. And it's not what you think!! Enjoy!!

Signing off 2054

Monday, June 20, 2011

New Job

With all the nonsense going on at the school I work in and my need to buy another car soon I went out and got a second job. I'm mostly working nights Queens and working days at the school (until I can quit). They cut my hours at the school just because I can't work Fridays anymore. I'm not working 20 hours on Fridays! I can't do it! So for now I am supplementing my income and making decent money. Its working out well. I'm off work today. Working a double tomorrow.

Signing off 12:35

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Happy Beltane!!

In celebration of Beltane 2011 I share with you an awesome video by Loreena McKennitt....The Mummers Dance!  Happy Beltane!!

When in the springtime of the year
When the trees are crowned with leaves
When the ash and oak, and the birch and yew
Are dressed in ribbons fair

When owls call the breathless moon
In the blue veil of the night
The shadows of the trees appear
Amidst the lantern light

We've been rambling all the night
And some time of this day
Now returning back again
We bring a garland gay

Who will go down to those shady groves
And summon the shadows there
And tie a ribbon on those sheltering arms
In the springtime of the year

The songs of birds seem to fill the wood
That when the fiddler plays
All their voices can be heard
Long past their woodland days

And so they linked their hands and danced
Round in circles and in rows
And so the journey of the night descends
When all the shades are gone

"A garland gay we bring you here
And at your door we stand
It is a sprout well budded out
The work of our Lord's hand"

Signing off 23:49

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Today is 4/20.  Seems pretty mundane, right?  Well, apparently everyone is making a big deal about it for a reason.  I mean, it WAS posted about on Facebook quite extensively today.  I had a co-worker ask me about it and thought it was funny when she didn't know.  Neither did a few other people at work today...I took an informal poll.  So after much thought and contemplation (and one google search) I decided to post info about it for all of you that are STILL clueless.   It has to do with pot....ya know, marijuana...

The Huffington Post published an article on the history behind 420 here:

The term started with the a group of high school students in California and the term 420 spread through the Grateful Dead"s network of fans and on from there. It was a code word for getting together and smoking pot which now is used across the country (apparently).  The article is chock full of interesting info!!

It even sparked it's own page:

And even a article:

So for those of you who actually ya go!  You can read my blog, get stoned, and go raid the fridge!  Happy 420!!! :)

Signing off 22:11

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down 
of the big lake they called "Gitche Gumee."
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
when the skies of November turn gloomy.
I first remember hearing this song when I was a little girl.
I remember thinking that it was a cool song.
At that point I didn't realize that it was about an actual event.
Gordon Lightfoot wrote "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" in 1976.
The actually event...the sinking of the ore ship the SS Edmund Fitzgerald 
took place on November 10, 1975.
From what I have researched the ship was sailing on Lake Superior and sank 
when it was hit by a rogue wave during a fierce storm
(this is just one theory).
They don't really know why the ship sank. 

The entire 29 man crew on board the ship was lost in the freezing water
that tragic night.

I wanted to share this song, the lyrics, and a few websites
with everyone because  I want to try to capture 
the memory of all the crew members and how 
they are immortilized by this song.
I hope you enjoy the song and hopefully you will learn something new. 
This video is especially interesting because it contains news footage 
and radio transmissions from the time the sinking occurred.

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down 
of the big lake they called "Gitche Gumee."
The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
when the skies of November turn gloomy.
With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more
than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty,
that good ship and true was a bone to be chewed
when the "Gales of November" came early. 

The ship was the pride of the American side
coming back from some mill in Wisconsin.
As the big freighters go, it was bigger than most
with a crew and good captain well seasoned,
concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms
when they left fully loaded for Cleveland.
And later that night when the ship's bell rang,
could it be the north wind they'd been feelin'?

The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound
and a wave broke over the railing.
And ev'ry man knew, as the captain did too
'twas the witch of November come stealin'.
The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
when the Gales of November came slashin'.
When afternoon came it was freezin' rain
in the face of a hurricane west wind.

When suppertime came the old cook came on deck sayin'.
"Fellas, it's too rough t'feed ya."
At seven P.M. a main hatchway caved in; he said,
fellas, it's been good t'know ya!"
The captain wired in he had water comin' in
and the good ship and crew was in peril.
And later that night when 'is lights went outta sight
came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Does any one know where the love of God goes
when the waves turn the minutes to hours?
The searchers all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay
if they'd put fifteen more miles behind 'er.
They might have split up or they might have capsized;
they may have broke deep and took water.
And all that remains is the faces and the names
of the wives and the sons and the daughters.

Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings
in the rooms of her ice-water mansion.
Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams;
the islands and bays are for sportsmen.
And farther below Lake Ontario
takes in what Lake Erie can send her,
And the iron boats go as the mariners all know
with the Gales of November remembered.

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed,
in the "Maritime Sailors' Cathedral."
The church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine times
for each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald.
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
of the big lake they call "Gitche Gumee."
"Superior," they said, "never gives up her dead
when the gales of November come early!"

R.I.P to the crew of the SS Edmund Fitzgerald 11/10/1975

Michael E. Armagost 37 Third Mate Iron River, Wisconsin
Frederick J. Beetcher 56 Porter Superior, Wisconsin
Thomas D. Bentsen 23 Oiler St. Joseph, Michigan
Edward F. Bindon 47 First Assistant Engineer Fairport Harbor, Ohio
Thomas D. Borgeson 41 Maintenance Man Duluth, Minnesota
Oliver J. Champeau 41 Third Assistant Engineer Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin
Nolan S. Church 55 Porter Silver Bay, Minnesota
Ransom E. Cundy 53 Watchman Superior, Wisconsin
Thomas E. Edwards 50 Second Assistant Engineer Oregon, Ohio
Russell G. Haskell 40 Second Assistant Engineer Millbury, Ohio
George J. Holl 60 Chief Engineer Cabot, Pennsylvania
Bruce L. Hudson 22 Deck Hand North Olmsted, Ohio
Allen G. Kalmon 43 Second Cook Washburn, Wisconsin
Gordon F. MacLellan 30 Wiper Clearwater, Florida
Joseph W. Mazes 59 Special Maintenance Man Ashland, Wisconsin
John H. McCarthy 62 First Mate Bay Village, Ohio
Ernest M. McSorley 63 Captain Toledo, Ohio
Eugene W. O'Brien 50 Wheelsman Toledo, Ohio
Karl A. Peckol 20 Watchman Ashtabula, Ohio
John J. Poviach 59 Wheelsman Bradenton, Florida
James A. Pratt 44 Second Mate Lakewood, Ohio
Robert C. Rafferty 62 Steward Toledo, Ohio
Paul M. Riippa 22 Deck Hand Ashtabula, Ohio
John D. Simmons 63 Wheelsman Ashland, Wisconsin
William J. Spengler 59 Watchman Toledo, Ohio
Mark A. Thomas 21 Deck Hand Richmond Heights, Ohio
Ralph G. Walton 58 Oiler Fremont, Ohio
David E. Weiss 22 Cadet Agoura, California
Blaine H. Wilhelm 52 Oiler Moquah, Wisconsin

Signing off 22:09

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Well hello Blackberry!

So I've been having problems recently with my year old Blackberry Bold.  It doesn't like to send pics to Facebook without freezing up which causes me to have to reset it!  So after a few weeks of dealing with this and 2 days trying to fix it (to no avail) I finally posted the following in the BB Geeks forum....

Hello all!

I have a problem I have been working on for a few days now and have not been able to find a solution.  Hoping you will be able to help me.

I updated my Bold to the latest operating system (5.0) and since that time the phone has been freezing and registering the 529 error screen whenever I send pictures via the facebook application.  I have tried sending pics from the app and from the photo album and get the same results each time.

I have wiped the phone and rolled back the operating system (to 4.5) and re-installed the facebook application and the problem continued.

So after having the rolled back OS on for a few days I went ahead and updated again to 5.0 and the problem is still there.

Do you think this is an incompatibility issue between the facebook app and the OS?  Is there anything to do besides wait for an update from facebook?

Thanks so much


I will let y'all know if/when I get a reply and if it works.  For all my geeky friends out there...if you guys have any suggestions please do let me know!  Thanks a million!

Signing off 10:32

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Snow Standby January 2011

sitting here in the dark watching tv and surfing the net. snow standby first for the year. the snow is falling people are plowing yet i sit here watching tv.  no motivation at 2:30 in the morning.  need to sleep but i'm not tired.  hopefully no work tomorrow....i don't think i'd be able to get there anyway. working without any sleep is impossible...wouldn't be the first time this week.  two calls the other morning at 5am that was hell when i got to work dealing with screaming kids and cranky teachers who don't understand my dilemma.  they never understand when i've been up all night which seems to happen more than usual lately.  the pain in my knee keeps me up, the pain in my back keeps me up, no sleep no sleep.  night after night i get 3 or maybe 4 hours, exhausted exhausted but that's what my life has become now.  i take it in stride the last 11 years hasn't been easy but i look to the future now and see what's ahead.  dwelling in the past doesn't help anyone.  sitting here in the present in the dark while its snowing outside and i'm being lazy. snow standby.

Signing off 02:37