sitting here in the dark watching tv and surfing the net. snow standby first for the year. the snow is falling people are plowing yet i sit here watching tv. no motivation at 2:30 in the morning. need to sleep but i'm not tired. hopefully no work tomorrow....i don't think i'd be able to get there anyway. working without any sleep is impossible...wouldn't be the first time this week. two calls the other morning at 5am that was hell when i got to work dealing with screaming kids and cranky teachers who don't understand my dilemma. they never understand when i've been up all night which seems to happen more than usual lately. the pain in my knee keeps me up, the pain in my back keeps me up, no sleep no sleep. night after night i get 3 or maybe 4 hours, exhausted exhausted but that's what my life has become now. i take it in stride the last 11 years hasn't been easy but i look to the future now and see what's ahead. dwelling in the past doesn't help anyone. sitting here in the present in the dark while its snowing outside and i'm being lazy. snow standby.
Signing off 02:37
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Sunday, December 12, 2010
EMS Poem- Author Unknown
Well I guess over a month is enough time to be on hiatus from my blog. Nothing much has been going on and I didn't have much to write about until this evening.
I was on a EMS forum tonight talking about difficult calls and tough situations one has to face being in the EMS field. There was a new EMT student who had a coroner come and give a lecture to her class about death and dying. He apparently showed a rather gruesome slide show and she ran out of the room halfway through the class crying her eyes out. She posed the question of whether she was cut out for the job and whether it was right of the speaker to show them those pictures at all. Someone in the forum posted this poem as a response that it is part of out job to deal with nasty shit and that not all we do is nice, pretty, and fun. Being in this field for as long as I have has given me a perspective that not too many people understand. Although I did get teary when I read the poem and it moved me. Moved me enough that i wanted to share it in my blog.
"I Want To Tell You Lies."
Author unknown.
I want to tell that little boy his Mom will be just fine
I want to tell that dad we got his daughter out in time
I want to tell that wife her husband will be home tonight
I don't want to tell it like it is, I want to tell them lies
You didn't put their seat belts on, you feel you killed your kids
I want to say you didn't ... but in a way, you did
You pound your fists into my chest, you're hurting so inside
I want to say you'll be OK, I want to tell you lies
You left chemicals within his reach and now it's in his eyes
I want to say your son will see, not tell you he'll be blind
You ask me if he'll be OK, with pleading in your eyes
I want to say that yes he will, I want to tell you lies
I can see you're crying as your life goes up in smoke
If you'd maintained that smoke alarm, your children may have woke
Don't grab my arm and ask me if your family is alive
Don't make me tell you they're all dead, I want to tell you lies
I want to say she'll be OK, you didn't take her life
I hear you say you love her and you'd never hurt your wife
You thought you didn't drink too much, you thought that you could drive
I don't want to say how wrong you were, I want to tell you lies
You only left her for a moment, it happens all the time
How could she have fell from there? You thought she couldn't climb
I want to say her neck's not broke, that she will be just fine
I don't want to say she's paralyzed, I want to tell you lies
I want to tell this teen his buddies didn't die in vain
Because he thought that it'd be cool to try to beat that train
I don't want to tell him this will haunt him all his life
I want to say that he'll forget, I want to tell him lies
You left the cabinet open and your daughter found the gun
Now you want me to undo the damage that's been done
You tell me she's your only child, you say she's only five
I don't want to say she wont see six, I want to tell you lies
He fell into the pool when you just went to grab the phone
It was only for a second that you left him there alone
If you let the damn phone ring perhaps your boy would be alive
But I don't want to tell you that, I want to tell you lies
The fact that you were speeding caused that car to overturn
And we couldn't get them out of there before the whole thing burned
Did they suffer? Yes, they suffered, as they slowly burned alive
But I don't want to say those words, I want to tell you lies
But I have to tell it like it is, until my shift is through
And then the real lies begin, when I come home to you,
You ask me how my day was, and I say it was just fine
I hope you understand, sometimes, I have to tell you lies
To all my EMS family...stay strong and stay safe out there.
Signing off 23:26
I was on a EMS forum tonight talking about difficult calls and tough situations one has to face being in the EMS field. There was a new EMT student who had a coroner come and give a lecture to her class about death and dying. He apparently showed a rather gruesome slide show and she ran out of the room halfway through the class crying her eyes out. She posed the question of whether she was cut out for the job and whether it was right of the speaker to show them those pictures at all. Someone in the forum posted this poem as a response that it is part of out job to deal with nasty shit and that not all we do is nice, pretty, and fun. Being in this field for as long as I have has given me a perspective that not too many people understand. Although I did get teary when I read the poem and it moved me. Moved me enough that i wanted to share it in my blog.
"I Want To Tell You Lies."
Author unknown.
I want to tell that little boy his Mom will be just fine
I want to tell that dad we got his daughter out in time
I want to tell that wife her husband will be home tonight
I don't want to tell it like it is, I want to tell them lies
You didn't put their seat belts on, you feel you killed your kids
I want to say you didn't ... but in a way, you did
You pound your fists into my chest, you're hurting so inside
I want to say you'll be OK, I want to tell you lies
You left chemicals within his reach and now it's in his eyes
I want to say your son will see, not tell you he'll be blind
You ask me if he'll be OK, with pleading in your eyes
I want to say that yes he will, I want to tell you lies
I can see you're crying as your life goes up in smoke
If you'd maintained that smoke alarm, your children may have woke
Don't grab my arm and ask me if your family is alive
Don't make me tell you they're all dead, I want to tell you lies
I want to say she'll be OK, you didn't take her life
I hear you say you love her and you'd never hurt your wife
You thought you didn't drink too much, you thought that you could drive
I don't want to say how wrong you were, I want to tell you lies
You only left her for a moment, it happens all the time
How could she have fell from there? You thought she couldn't climb
I want to say her neck's not broke, that she will be just fine
I don't want to say she's paralyzed, I want to tell you lies
I want to tell this teen his buddies didn't die in vain
Because he thought that it'd be cool to try to beat that train
I don't want to tell him this will haunt him all his life
I want to say that he'll forget, I want to tell him lies
You left the cabinet open and your daughter found the gun
Now you want me to undo the damage that's been done
You tell me she's your only child, you say she's only five
I don't want to say she wont see six, I want to tell you lies
He fell into the pool when you just went to grab the phone
It was only for a second that you left him there alone
If you let the damn phone ring perhaps your boy would be alive
But I don't want to tell you that, I want to tell you lies
The fact that you were speeding caused that car to overturn
And we couldn't get them out of there before the whole thing burned
Did they suffer? Yes, they suffered, as they slowly burned alive
But I don't want to say those words, I want to tell you lies
But I have to tell it like it is, until my shift is through
And then the real lies begin, when I come home to you,
You ask me how my day was, and I say it was just fine
I hope you understand, sometimes, I have to tell you lies
To all my EMS family...stay strong and stay safe out there.
Signing off 23:26
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
funny story....social experiment...
I have been fighting a cold on and off for the past 2 weeks. I bought some day/night cold medicine when I first got sick not thinking anything of it and started taking it. The other day I started feeling sick again. Having finished up the meds that I bought 2 weeks ago I decided while I was out shopping last night to pick up some more.
So I went to rite aide and in my attempt to buy this stuff the lady asked me for my birthday (which i supplied to her because it has something to do with the new law that they passed). Well then she claimed computer/register froze and she calls for the manager who punches some keys and then asks again for my birthday. After entering it in the computer he informs me that I am over the allowed amount of medicine that I can buy for the month (never checked my ID or anything). I was nice about it because I was in a good mood and said ok and left.
I then tried to figure out on my way to the car how that was possible. I had never before been asked to give my birthday when I have purchased cold meds. Still in need of meds for the cold I still had I decided to have some fun and see if I could buy stuff at the walgreens a block over from the rite aide.
I picked out the same meds that I just tried to buy at the rite aide and went to the walgreens cashier. She scanned the box and as I watched the register screen ask for a birthday she punched in a generic birthday and completed the sale. Telling me that she hoped I felt better soon I said thanks and walked out of the store.
So much for the new law!! I'M STILL CONFUSED AFTER READING THE INFO ON WIKIPEDIA
I contemplated why my experience was so different at the two stores. The lady at rite aide was a middle aged woman who looked like she had been a cashier there forever. The lady at walgreens looked to be in her mid 20's who was probably working to earn some cash while in college.
Any thoughts??
* FOR FURTHER INFO ON THE LAW SEE BELOW OR ON
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudoephedrine *
The United States Congress has recognized that pseudoephedrine is used in the illegal manufacture of methamphetamine. In 2005, the Committee on Education and the Workforce heard testimony concerning education programs and state legislation designed to curb this illegal practice.
Congress passed the Combat Methamphetamine Epidemic Act of 2005 ("CMEA") as an amendment to the renewal of the USA PATRIOT Act. Signed into law by president George W. Bush on March 6, 2006, the act amended 21 U.S.C. § 830 concerning the sale of pseudoephedrine-containing products. The law mandated two phases, the first needing to be implemented by April 8, 2006 and the second phase to be completed by September 30, 2006. The first phase dealt primarily with implementing the new buying restrictions based on amount, while the second phase encompassed the requirements of storage, employee training, and record keeping.[28] Though the law was mainly directed at pseudoephedrine products it also applies to all over the counter products containing:ephedrine, pseudoephedrine, and phenylpropanolamine, their salts, optical isomers, and salts of optical isomers.[28] Pseudoephedrine was defined as a "scheduled listed chemical product" under 21 U.S.C. § 802 (45(A)). The act included the following requirements for merchants ("regulated sellers") who sell such products:
Signing off 08:18
So I went to rite aide and in my attempt to buy this stuff the lady asked me for my birthday (which i supplied to her because it has something to do with the new law that they passed). Well then she claimed computer/register froze and she calls for the manager who punches some keys and then asks again for my birthday. After entering it in the computer he informs me that I am over the allowed amount of medicine that I can buy for the month (never checked my ID or anything). I was nice about it because I was in a good mood and said ok and left.
I then tried to figure out on my way to the car how that was possible. I had never before been asked to give my birthday when I have purchased cold meds. Still in need of meds for the cold I still had I decided to have some fun and see if I could buy stuff at the walgreens a block over from the rite aide.
I picked out the same meds that I just tried to buy at the rite aide and went to the walgreens cashier. She scanned the box and as I watched the register screen ask for a birthday she punched in a generic birthday and completed the sale. Telling me that she hoped I felt better soon I said thanks and walked out of the store.
So much for the new law!! I'M STILL CONFUSED AFTER READING THE INFO ON WIKIPEDIA
I contemplated why my experience was so different at the two stores. The lady at rite aide was a middle aged woman who looked like she had been a cashier there forever. The lady at walgreens looked to be in her mid 20's who was probably working to earn some cash while in college.
Any thoughts??
* FOR FURTHER INFO ON THE LAW SEE BELOW OR ON
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudoephedrine *
The United States Congress has recognized that pseudoephedrine is used in the illegal manufacture of methamphetamine. In 2005, the Committee on Education and the Workforce heard testimony concerning education programs and state legislation designed to curb this illegal practice.
Congress passed the Combat Methamphetamine Epidemic Act of 2005 ("CMEA") as an amendment to the renewal of the USA PATRIOT Act. Signed into law by president George W. Bush on March 6, 2006, the act amended 21 U.S.C. § 830 concerning the sale of pseudoephedrine-containing products. The law mandated two phases, the first needing to be implemented by April 8, 2006 and the second phase to be completed by September 30, 2006. The first phase dealt primarily with implementing the new buying restrictions based on amount, while the second phase encompassed the requirements of storage, employee training, and record keeping.[28] Though the law was mainly directed at pseudoephedrine products it also applies to all over the counter products containing:ephedrine, pseudoephedrine, and phenylpropanolamine, their salts, optical isomers, and salts of optical isomers.[28] Pseudoephedrine was defined as a "scheduled listed chemical product" under 21 U.S.C. § 802 (45(A)). The act included the following requirements for merchants ("regulated sellers") who sell such products:
- Required a retrievable record of all purchases, identifying the name and address of each party, to be kept for two years
- Required verification of proof of identity of all purchasers
- Required protection and disclosure methods in the collection of personal information
- Required reports to the Attorney General of any suspicious payments or disappearances of the regulated products
- Required training of employees with regard to the requirements of the CMEA. Retailers must self-certify as to training and compliance.
- The non-liquid dose form of regulated products may only be sold in unit dose blister packs
- Regulated products must be stored behind the counter or in a locked cabinet in such a way as to restrict public access
- Daily sales limit—must not exceed 3.6 grams of pseudoephedrine base without regard to the number of transactions
- 30-day (not monthly) sales limit—must not exceed 7.5 grams of pseudoephedrine base if sold by mail order or "mobile retail vendor"
- 30-day purchase limit—must not exceed 9 grams of pseudoephedrine base. (A misdemeanor possession offense under 21 U.S.C. § 844afor the person who buys it.)
- US passport
- Alien registration or permanent resident card
- Unexpired foreign passport with temporary I-551 stamp
- Unexpired Employment Authorization Document
- Driver's License or Government issued identification card (including Canadian driver's license)
- School ID with picture
- Voter's Registration card
- US Military Card
- Native American tribal documents
Signing off 08:18
Monday, October 11, 2010
vegetarian
yes you heard right folks! I have now decided to become a vegetarian! Why, you ask? Well for one thing it has become quite apparent to me that I feel sick whenever I eat meat. I had given up on beef awhile ago and was never interested in fish (eeww) The only meat i was really into eating was chicken. That usually consisted of the fried variety (which isn't good for me) so I have decided to give that up too.
So I had my last bit of meat this morning which consisted of some really gross bacon which made up my mind for me about changing my lifestyle. This should prove to be interesting, if not difficult for me, considering I have been eating meat for as long as I can remember.
I prepared my lunch for tomorrow already (veggie soup and fruit salad) and I have my breakfast all set too (yogurt and a cereal bar with some OJ). I will be writing about my experience as often as I remember (and have something to say about the whole thing).
For now, Angus and Midnight will remain carnivores (at 11 years old Midnight is very set in her ways about eating...who ever heard of vegetarian cat food anyway?!)
Signing off 00:39
So I had my last bit of meat this morning which consisted of some really gross bacon which made up my mind for me about changing my lifestyle. This should prove to be interesting, if not difficult for me, considering I have been eating meat for as long as I can remember.
I prepared my lunch for tomorrow already (veggie soup and fruit salad) and I have my breakfast all set too (yogurt and a cereal bar with some OJ). I will be writing about my experience as often as I remember (and have something to say about the whole thing).
For now, Angus and Midnight will remain carnivores (at 11 years old Midnight is very set in her ways about eating...who ever heard of vegetarian cat food anyway?!)
Signing off 00:39
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
This has really nothing to do with anything else here except itself (Gathering Time)
first off it's Mabon! Happy Mabon! for those of you who aren't sure of that exactly I can propose some help which I got from Wikipedia as follows....
"Autumnal Equinox: The holiday of Autumn Equinox, Harvest Home, Mabon, the Feast of the Ingathering, Meán Fómhair or Alban Elfed (in Neo-Druidic traditions), is a ritual of thanksgiving for the fruits of the earth and a recognition of the need to share them to secure the blessings of the Goddess and the God during the winter months. The name Mabon was coined by Aidan Kelly around 1970 as a reference to Mabon ap Modron, a character from Welsh mythology.[14] In the northern hemisphere this equinox occurs anywhere from September 21 to 24. In the southern hemisphere, the autumn equinox occurs anywhere from March 18–22. Among the sabbats, it is the second of the three harvest festivals, preceded by Lammas/Lughnasadh and followed by Samhain."
Next stop: Samhain (Oct 31)
Well enough of that! I HAD to post this video (I will in just a in a minute after I finish babbling) because although this video has really nothing to do with anything else in this particular post except itself, I love it!
The people in the video are my friends Glen, Stu, and Hillary and they are this awesome folky rock trio called Gathering Time (http://www.gatheringtimetrio.com/) Angus and I are groupies of Gathering Time's and we are called The Gatherers (thanks to Hillary for the name). We gather at their shows, sing, dance, harass the band, and generally just have a swell time!
So anyway, Angus posted me this video on facebook and I felt like I just had to share it with my blogging world. After all this is my blog and I post whatever I want. The band is also particularly awesome and they write their own songs too. They have a CD out now called Songs Of Hope And Freedom and the songs and harmonies are killer. Really killer. So without further blathering on from me, here they are....
Insanely good aren't they? Try to get to one of their live shows! Even better!!
Well that's all for me for now!
Signing off 23:23
"Autumnal Equinox: The holiday of Autumn Equinox, Harvest Home, Mabon, the Feast of the Ingathering, Meán Fómhair or Alban Elfed (in Neo-Druidic traditions), is a ritual of thanksgiving for the fruits of the earth and a recognition of the need to share them to secure the blessings of the Goddess and the God during the winter months. The name Mabon was coined by Aidan Kelly around 1970 as a reference to Mabon ap Modron, a character from Welsh mythology.[14] In the northern hemisphere this equinox occurs anywhere from September 21 to 24. In the southern hemisphere, the autumn equinox occurs anywhere from March 18–22. Among the sabbats, it is the second of the three harvest festivals, preceded by Lammas/Lughnasadh and followed by Samhain."
Next stop: Samhain (Oct 31)
Well enough of that! I HAD to post this video (I will in just a in a minute after I finish babbling) because although this video has really nothing to do with anything else in this particular post except itself, I love it!
The people in the video are my friends Glen, Stu, and Hillary and they are this awesome folky rock trio called Gathering Time (http://www.gatheringtimetrio.com/) Angus and I are groupies of Gathering Time's and we are called The Gatherers (thanks to Hillary for the name). We gather at their shows, sing, dance, harass the band, and generally just have a swell time!
So anyway, Angus posted me this video on facebook and I felt like I just had to share it with my blogging world. After all this is my blog and I post whatever I want. The band is also particularly awesome and they write their own songs too. They have a CD out now called Songs Of Hope And Freedom and the songs and harmonies are killer. Really killer. So without further blathering on from me, here they are....
Insanely good aren't they? Try to get to one of their live shows! Even better!!
Well that's all for me for now!
Signing off 23:23
Sunday, September 12, 2010
This is more important than anything else!
I went to a rally today in Mineola with other members of my fire department. We were there to demand that we are being listened to and to drum up support for a family and a community who has been fighting an injustice for 4 years. That injustice is that Malverne Firefighter Paul Brady's (who was tragically killed in the line of duty in 2006) name has not yet been added to the Fallen Firefighters Memorial Wall in Albany! (http://monument.fire-hero.com/)
They gave out flyers there with info about how to contact your New York State Officials about supporting the 2 bills that are being proposed in the Assembly and the Senate.
Assembly Bill #A10836-A and Senate Bill #S8450 both propose to amend section 7 of the Volunteer Firefighters Benefit Law (VFBL) by adding a new subdivision which will mandate that the name of any Line of Duty Death be honored by inscribing the Firefighters name on the wall in Albany.
Contact your Assembly rep at www.assembly.state.ny.gov
Just type in your zip code and then click on the rep that comes up for your district. When you are sent to their page click CONTACT on the left side of the page and send them an email asking them to support the assembly bill listed above and let them know WHY they should support it.
Contact you Senate rep at www.nysenate.gov and send your rep an email asking them to support the senate bill listed above and let them know WHY they should support it.
If you need more info as to what happened to Paul I am posting some links below. Paul's name is on the NATIONAL MONUMENT in Maryland and the NASSAU COUNTY MONUMENT in Garden City. SO WHY IS HIS NAME NOT ON THE STATE WALL?
READ THIS LINK!!
http://community.fireengineering.com/profiles/blog/show?id=1219672%3ABlogPost%3A175895
What a load of rediculous nonsense!
Paul Brady: http://www.liherald.com/detail.html?sub_id=24678
Please send your reps emails! This is the only way we are going to get this passed!!
RIP Brother! We won't stop until your name is on the wall where it should be!!
Signing Off 13:05
They gave out flyers there with info about how to contact your New York State Officials about supporting the 2 bills that are being proposed in the Assembly and the Senate.
Assembly Bill #A10836-A and Senate Bill #S8450 both propose to amend section 7 of the Volunteer Firefighters Benefit Law (VFBL) by adding a new subdivision which will mandate that the name of any Line of Duty Death be honored by inscribing the Firefighters name on the wall in Albany.
Contact your Assembly rep at www.assembly.state.ny.gov
Just type in your zip code and then click on the rep that comes up for your district. When you are sent to their page click CONTACT on the left side of the page and send them an email asking them to support the assembly bill listed above and let them know WHY they should support it.
Contact you Senate rep at www.nysenate.gov and send your rep an email asking them to support the senate bill listed above and let them know WHY they should support it.
If you need more info as to what happened to Paul I am posting some links below. Paul's name is on the NATIONAL MONUMENT in Maryland and the NASSAU COUNTY MONUMENT in Garden City. SO WHY IS HIS NAME NOT ON THE STATE WALL?
READ THIS LINK!!
http://community.fireengineering.com/profiles/blog/show?id=1219672%3ABlogPost%3A175895
What a load of rediculous nonsense!
Paul Brady: http://www.liherald.com/detail.html?sub_id=24678
Please send your reps emails! This is the only way we are going to get this passed!!
RIP Brother! We won't stop until your name is on the wall where it should be!!
Signing Off 13:05
Sunday, September 5, 2010
labor day already?
I did a 24 shift on call with the FD Friday into Saturday, cleaned out the EMS supply closet and made up an inventory list. Way to start a weekend! It's labor day already?? This time last year I was contemplating switching careers. This year I switched jobs again. Our new year is quickly approaching, Sooie and James booked their wedding venue, and school starts. Looking forward to assisting with wedding planning and enjoying fall. Can't believe it's labor day already!
Signing Off 17:37
Signing Off 17:37
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